I woke up laughing this morning. A guy in my dream made a joke, and I laughed and laughed until I was awake. I couldn’t believe it. It was 5:45 in the morning, and I just couldn’t stop laughing.
It’s never happened to me before, and I’ll probably talk about it all day. Does this happen to people often? It was awesome — this wave of glee when you find that you’ve just laughed yourself awake? Multiply it by the sun coming through the window and the arms of your partner wrapped around you. Add to it the soft mews of the cat at the bedroom door and the night-long warmth of the bed you’re still in. It felt magical, spiritual in the way a rainbow feels, but a rainbow that only you can see.
For the last couple of years I have been waking up with headaches. The stress of readjusting to America, to health problems, to family problems, to a new job and a new city— it all has tightened the screw a bit, and I have found myself waking up in pain with jaw clenched and head strained as if bracing myself for reentry. However, in the last few months, these things, like the weather, have eased up. New friends, new opportunities, new love, new seasons have brought joy and a bit of feverish excitement as I see things unfolding.
You wonder sometimes if this happiness that is growing will last, will be enough. If, despite the obstacles, this happiness can makes its way to those truly deep places in the shadows of your heart.
I have been unsure of new happiness. Maybe you feel that way, too. But then you have a dream only your soul could create. As if your soul is saying, “Look! That happiness you’ve been feeling. It made it all the way down here!” It made it’s way to your heart, and now you are laughing yourself awake.