You may recall from all your celebrating that Monday was International Women’s Day. Well, there is currently not a woman in my life, so on Monday I decided to go out and get me a bitch. I did. Went to a friend’s house, saw one, wrapped her up in a towel and brought her home.
First thing we did when we got home: took a nap. Her settled on my lap, little white toes curled up against my forearm Slept for a couple hours. Apparently the whole being-captured-and-carried-to-a-new-place really takes it out of you because I got up, read and then finished West With the Night and the little booger was still asleep in my lap. It wasn’t until I was a couple chapters into The Golden Compass that she stirred just enough to free her to pee in my lap. This prompted me to make a list:
Things I learned in the first three days of owning a puppy in Armenia:
1. Armenian dogs just like American dogs WILL take the first opportunity available to pee on me (re: every other dog I’ve ever played with). It’s must be on every dog’s bucket list.
2. Armenians do not believe in Dogs Inside. Dogs are “dirty”. So, my landmother will let my landsisters play with the puppy (playing=running around her squealing), but they are not aloud to touch her.
3. The landfamily, despite their cultural disposition, actually support my keeping her. They give her bones and built her a little home outside.
4. This puppy-peeing-on-me thing coupled with the I-have-to-wash-everything-by-hand-between-the-hours-of-10-and-1 thing is really no good. I’m going to have to find a washing machine.
5. Puppy was, in another life, a model.
Indeed, pup was a model before she was born. And you can see the proof below, but first, you’ve got to help me. Puppy needs a name. At first I tried out the name Everybody. The original thought came from an old friend of mine who was making a joke about giving the name to his daughter. Since then I’ve been holding onto Everybody for a future pup, delighted at the joke (Who peed on the floor? Everybody. Everybody, shut up! Everybody, quit licking yourself). But after a couple of days I realized that this would mean years of explaining this joke that would quickly cease to be so funny. And the shortened version, Evi, just doesn’t work.
So, I need you to help me come up with a name. Here’s what I’ve got so far:
(Unsuitable) Names suggested by Armenian friends:
Mickey, Mimi, Gina, Jehko, Sharik
Names suggested by Armenian friends that I actually like:
Armenian and Russian words that might make good names:
Kyasja (blond), Kapik (monkey), Ket (whale), Knobka (lightswitch)
English names that describe her in some way:
Shivers (she’s a nervous wiggler), Duckling (ok, she’s cute and all, but her muttness makes her all disproportionate, tiny back legs, big skull, tiny ears… I’m considering her my Ugly Duckling)
A name I thought of after reading West With the Night which made me realize how much I like race horse names:
Names that come from the wikipedia page about International Women’s Day:
Triangle Shirtwaist, Zetkin, Kollontai
My sister and I really love the idea of naming pets after inanimate objects (she’s got a real cute tabby named Tweezer), so here are names from inanimate objects without which I would not have survived 9.5 months in Peace Corps Armenia:
Thermos, Vararan (heater), Blanket, Podcast, Blog, Karma (our fav indian restaurant in the capital), Boots, Birdya (woollen (things))
So, of those I really like Kyasja, Duckling, Birdya and Spring Chicken. And I swear the next cat I get is getting named Triangle Shirtwaist.
But please, please suggest any other names. Because look how cute and name-deserving she is:
Seriously, she’s saying, “Please… give me my name,” with her eyes. (Anyone having apocalyptic flashbacks to that scene in The Never Ending Story?)
I took this picture on our first day. Apparently girl can work her environment. Look what happened:
I asked for cute on a shoe. She gave me cute on a shoe. Then I asked for pensive:
Now give me Goofy:
Now, give I Want To Eat My Own Hand:
Now, give me Over It:
Now, give me Really Disproportionate:
Oh, she’s good. But check what she did when I asked for Pitiful:
Seriously. I know. So, if she’s going to have a chance in this industry, dog needs a name! Help!