Noticing the leaves

Why Do I Write?

Hi, friends. I’m so grateful you read this, even though I don’t know who you are. Actually… scratch that. I know my cousin reads. He told me so when I saw him at Christmas. (Hey, Mason! Thank you for saying that!!!) And I have the sweetest words logged away in my memory from you, kind friends, who have called me out on my writing, said that in some way it mattered to you that I wrote.  I was at a Christmas party, and someone told me that when something bad happens, they look to see if I’ve written something. That may…

How I Felt On My First Father’s Day

She’s officially seven months. Sunday was Father’s Day. It was my first Father’s Day as a father. Today I saw her sit up on her own for the first time. She sat right up. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t celebrate. She didn’t look at me for approval. She didn’t cheer with glee. She simply just sat right up. Then she grabbed a purple block from a collection of blocks and stared at it. She is marvelous. She doesn’t know it, of course. She doesn’t know that when she sits up my heart completely stops, shatters into a million pieces,…

8 TV Moms This Gay Dad Wants His Daughter To Know

I recently started watching old episodes of Roseanne. I put my iPad up on the kitchen shelf and listened to their raucous household rumble through bad grades and teen smoking and the honeymoon they never had. I was all warm fuzzies about it, ready to slowly make my way through Conner family history until this last week. Last week I gave up on Roseanne. I’ll let you google that if you need to know why. However, it got me thinking about moms. My baby girl doesn’t have a mom. She has two amazing dads, and I know without a doubt…

The Same Apartment

I went to Wisconsin to work on a new project, and I’m staying in the same apartment we stayed in when we brought our baby home from the hospital last fall. We didn’t quite bring her HOME home. We brought our days-old baby here, to this apartment. This is the apartment above our surrogacy agency. Two days before our baby girl was born, we drove four hours, arrived here, brought our bags upstairs. We set up a pack-n-play, put our baby’s bassinet in it and folded a paper thin receiving blanket with cameras on it, draping it over the side….

Staying Afloat in a Tough Week

So, it’s been a tough week. Here are my spiritual bouys, a few things that are keeping me afloat: -Our day school for our baby girl has been so flexible with us, offering more hours to help us deal with the raging cats. Seeing our baby girl happy at every drop off, especially in this great weather, has been a soul-healing balm. This morning I sat her in the outdoor stroller next to her baby friend. They touched each other’s faces. My girl looked up at me and smiled. -I’ve been working on new spiritual rituals at home. Update: the…