How I Felt On My First Father’s Day

She’s officially seven months. Sunday was Father’s Day. It was my first Father’s Day as a father. Today I saw her sit up on her own for the first time. She sat right up. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t celebrate. She didn’t look at me for approval. She didn’t cheer with glee. She simply just sat right up. Then she grabbed a purple block from a collection of blocks and stared at it. She is marvelous. She doesn’t know it, of course. She doesn’t know that when she sits up my heart completely stops, shatters into a million pieces,…

8 TV Moms This Gay Dad Wants His Daughter To Know

I recently started watching old episodes of Roseanne. I put my iPad up on the kitchen shelf and listened to their raucous household rumble through bad grades and teen smoking and the honeymoon they never had. I was all warm fuzzies about it, ready to slowly make my way through Conner family history until this last week. Last week I gave up on Roseanne. I’ll let you google that if you need to know why. However, it got me thinking about moms. My baby girl doesn’t have a mom. She has two amazing dads, and I know without a doubt…

The Same Apartment

I went to Wisconsin to work on a new project, and I’m staying in the same apartment we stayed in when we brought our baby home from the hospital last fall. We didn’t quite bring her HOME home. We brought our days-old baby here, to this apartment. This is the apartment above our surrogacy agency. Two days before our baby girl was born, we drove four hours, arrived here, brought our bags upstairs. We set up a pack-n-play, put our baby’s bassinet in it and folded a paper thin receiving blanket with cameras on it, draping it over the side….

Staying Afloat in a Tough Week

So, it’s been a tough week. Here are my spiritual bouys, a few things that are keeping me afloat: -Our day school for our baby girl has been so flexible with us, offering more hours to help us deal with the raging cats. Seeing our baby girl happy at every drop off, especially in this great weather, has been a soul-healing balm. This morning I sat her in the outdoor stroller next to her baby friend. They touched each other’s faces. My girl looked up at me and smiled. -I’ve been working on new spiritual rituals at home. Update: the…

About a Cat Fight – My Sister and Me

Last night I hid in the bathroom with the baby. I could hear my husband underneath the floor, and from the sounds I could hear, I was able to imagine him there in our basement, defending our small cat from the larger one, the howling felines, the scrambling, clawing sounds of a cat fight. I started to feel tears welling up, standing there on the cold tile with my five month old in my arms. Our cats are five years old. They are sweet, cuddly. They love new people. They spend almost every night curled up on the couch with…