She discovered she has hands!

At her age, I didn’t know I had hands. I didn’t know the things existed at all. Or arms or elbows, knees, or toes. I didn’t know I had a body. My girl is now over 12 weeks-old. She has lived here on earth for 12 weeks. Over those past 12 weeks and on into the future, I am watching one of the great wonders of the world – seeing a baby discover that she IS. She exists, and she barely even knows it. The other day she found out she has hands. She made the discovery quietly, and for…

I love all the going to sleep things.

All of them. I love all the baby sleep things. I love how when we’re still on the couch the binky falls out of her mouth but her lips stay open in a precious, little pout. I love the way her sleepy arms fall away from her sides when I stand up. Sometimes she’ll absent-mindedly throw her binky across the room, and I love how she tries to find part of her hand to suck on. She tries the thumb, the side of her index finger, the end of her palm. She tries it all and gets so frustrated, and…

Things you can do one-handed while holding your baby.

So my husband is back to work today, and me and baby girl are at home. It’s our first day back, and she wants to be held and held and held some more. Meanwhile dishes are by the sink, suitcases still packed and by the door, laundry on the basement floor, and plants that haven’t been watered are waving their sagging leaves at me for help. I am hoping her nap time will be hands-free after her post-travel stress dissipates, but until then, I have decided to compile a list of Things You Can Do One-Handed While Holding Your Baby….

3am is my new jam.

I never imagined in a million years that I might like, even look forward to, waking up at 3am night after night. Now, I can feel those parent eyes rolling. And yes, I am TOTALLY too tired some most nights to think of anything other than “MUST CHANGE BABY. MUST FEED BABY. BABY MUST SLEEP. WHY NOT SLEEPING. PLEASE SLEEPING NOW. NO WORDS, ONLY TIRED. MY GOD PLEASE SLEEP, CHILD. HAVE I DIED. IS THIS HELL. WHY IS ONE OF HER EYES STILL KIND OF OPEN. SLEEP, MY SLEEP, WHY HAVE YOU FORESAKEN ME. WILL I EVER SLEEP AGAIN IN THIS…

I have a baby now.

I have a baby now. A baby.  The smallest kind of human being living in my house, hands no bigger than a half dollar. This is her: My husband and I waited for this magical girl for years. On our first date we talked about how much we both love family – our families in Texas, the family values we grew up with, the possible journey of making a family of our own. I married that sweet man, my best friend, two and half years ago. The house we bought that summer was one we chose because we could imagine…