We have a hobo

There is a man storing his belongings behind our garage.

When we first investigated the hobo pile (currently behind the dangling ‘No Trespassing’ sign put up by the previous owner), there were shoes, a vacuum cleaner, a sleeping bag, a blazer, a computer monitor, a book of family photos, and smaller miscellany in the brush. The pile was there when we looked at the house the first time in February. When we bought the house in May, the collection hadn’t moved, shoes still askew, vacuum laying down with handle pointed due south.

We thought these things were abandoned, but we didn’t move them in case someone came back. It was the family photo album that really got us. There was a picture of children and parents around a table. Another of young boy holding up a fish. We left it all there thinking maybe he would be back and collect his things seeing that someone was living in the house now.

IMG_9301A few weeks ago there were new additions to the hobo pile. A bicycle with rusted out gears and chain. A few more blazers. A second sleeping bag. And things had been shuffled. Recently we’ve put up a fence, and I guess we thought that putting up that fence would send our friend the hint that now might be a good time to find another storage facility. Our hobo friend simply consolidated his belongings. The pile is now squat and high.

I’m conflicted. On the one hand, our friend hasn’t disturbed the peace. Other than footsteps in the snow and the occasional movement of blazers and sleeping bags, we would never know he’d been here. And it’s been 8 months now, and we’ve never seen him. (In fact, it could be HER hobo pile.)

On the other hand, we were thinking of building a chicken coop right there. #bourgeoisieproblems

But really, we want to have kids. And we’re not feeling great about our occasional hobo friend stopping by at random.

My current thought? Let’s buy him a great storage container, possibly with wheels, a gift certificate for some dry cleaning (would do wonders for the sleeping bags), and write him a very nice eviction notice. “Dear friend, It’s been great, but perhaps it’s time to roll on.”

My other current thought? Let’s invite him to dinner. We’ll take him for a slice at Lucé. Maybe he knows how to build a chicken coop.

Have you ever had such a guest? WHAT DO WE DO?

 

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