The Hocus Pocus Halloween Dinner

This Halloween I have decided not to wear a costume. I love Halloween down deep in my soul, but I will be on a flight to the Middle East, and I don’t think it’s prudent to show up in a cape, white face and fangs with fake blood trickling from my lip. #goodtraveler

Plus, if my Halloween heart pangs overwhelm, I’ll run to the airplane bathroom, wrap myself in toilet paper and take a selfie. #milehighmummy (OH MY GOD IS THIS MY MEME MOMENT?)

But I love Halloween. My whole family loves Halloween. I’m not sure I’ve ever gotten a Christmas card from my family, but I ALWAYS get Halloween cards. This year’s from my sister made such creepy sounds that I’ve scared my husband with it twice.

I miss my family during the holidays, and Halloween is when it always starts. I miss being gathered around my parents’ bathroom mirror with face crayons and latex wounds. Zombies are and will always be the best costume. A little dead. A little silly. A lot of ugly face contests with my sister.

As we began to get older, we started dressing up just to go out to places in costume. We would crash parties in costume, walk around Walmart, or go out to a restaurant, all just to laugh with other people who were laughing at us.

Here’s my mom, my sister, and me, heading to my younger sister’s friend’s Halloween party. We were not invited.

zombies though


We also dressed up for Halloween Dinner. We did this for the first time when my aunt and cousin were living with us. I borrowed my aunt’s silk pants and a sparkly turban from my mother and ate dinner as The Genie.

The standard dinner is always Brains and Eyeballs with Blood Buttered Flesh (spaghetti and meatballs with rolls). The noodles are bright green. The butter is blood red. We’re all looking crazy and wonderful. This year we are separated by The Great Plains. Youngest Sister is up here in Minnesota with me, the rest of the family in Texas (The Motherland!). This has not stopped us from texting up a storm about what meal we would be having, and this year it’s been better than ever. I present to you,





Dead Man’s Toe Cheese Log
Margaritas With A Circle of Salt
Virgin Lit the Candle Daiquiris


Mummy’s Scorpion Pie with Zombie Fingerling Potatoes
Lucky Rat Tail Pasta with Dead Man’s Chungs
Itch-it-a-cop-it-a-Mel-a-ka-mys-ti-canadian Bacon and Cream Cheese OOOOON TOAST!
Oil of Boil Chardonnay


Squashed Binx (brownies in the shape of cats)
Kiln Roasted Sandersons (cookies in the shape of witches)


I wish I was spooking it up with the family this Halloween, but thanks to the internet, we can still spread our Halloween love around. So, tell me, what’s missing from our Hocus Pocus Halloween Dinner? (Tell me it has something to do with a Black Flame…)

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