I thought, Hey, why not grow a mustache? New year, new face. And it will help me mark the time, will set this month apart from the rest, The Month I Had a Mustache. It will give me something to do. Etc.
But I swear, if my Armenian coworkers say one more time that
-“That doesn’t suit you.”
-“That’s not handsome.”
-“That looks like a broken brush.”
then I’m going to unload on someone. It’s the first thing they say when they see me in the morning. Seriously. And as for the whole, it’s-because-they-consider-you-a-friend, I say, well consider my face, a face that is exuding I-can’t-really-deal-with-a-week-of-people-telling-me-I’m-ugly. And let it grow.
…rassafrassin fragnabbit dadburn idjit….
Now I’m gonna grow handlebars just to spite them.